Tie A Yellow Ribbon for Cory Aquino

Maria Corazon "Cory" Cojuangco Aquino

(January 25, 1933 – August 1, 2009)

I woke up this morning to the news that former Philippine President Cory Aquino has passed away due to complications she was suffrering from colon cancer.

She was instrumental in bringing democracy to the Philippines, and served as a catalyst for change. She embodied the struggles of the Filipino people, and was an advocate of peace and freedom.

It all started with Ninoy. He was assasinated the day before my birthday in 1983. Images of his assasination was displayed over and over again on the television. We all grieved with Cory Aquino. Her loss was also our loss. Little did we know that Ninoy's death would catapult her into the presidency and the end of the Marcos regime.

I still remember the People Power Movement in 1986. I was nine years old at the time, and was aware of the suppression under the Marcos dictatorship. I was camped out at EDSA with my Mom, brother, uncles, aunts, and cousins. It was the first time in my life where I saw people from different social classes interact, and come together for a common cause.

I still remember the play by play we would wait for on the radio. Slowly, but surely, soldiers defected against Marcos. They took back radio and television stations. I can still see the street vendor giving away his sweet corn to people who were camped out on EDSA. He gave away his only means of making a living to help his fellow country men. I can recall nuns from my school kneeling in front of tanks. I remember it all.

We were also at Cory Aquino's presidential inauguration. There were so many people there, just a sea of yellow. I can recall stretching upward, as far as I could, so that people could see the "L" I made with my fingers. I wanted them to see that even though I was small, I knew the difference between wrong and right. I was part of the laban, the fight for freedom from oppression. My brother and I even got to see tanks up close. We even went inside them and took pictures with the soldiers. It was a momentous occassion, and one I will never forget.

I went to the same school as Cory Aquino. She attended St. Scholastica's College in Manila, and I am still proud of being a Scholastican like her. You carry those values with you wherever you go, and I can't think of a better product of those values than her.

She was the first woman President of the Philippines. She wasn't corrupt and never enriched herself in office. She ruled with class, dignity, and grace. GMA doesn't even come close...and never will.

Rest In Peace, President Aquino. Thank you for everything that you did for our people. You will be missed.

Bath Time

I don't understand why my dog doesn't like water. She's a labrador retriever, yet she hates any sign of water...especially bath time.

I planned on giving her a bath every three weeks, but she got pretty stinky from spilling her water in her crate. There is nothing worse than the smell of wet dog, marinating.

Her bath took longer this time around. She gets really hyper affter her bath. She rolls around on her back and barks. Maybe I just have a spazzy dog. I don't think it's from her bath shampoo, because I only use an organic brand.

I understand that she needs to get used to taking a bath since she's still a pup. I'm open to any suggestions to making bath time more fun for Charlie. I'm getting too old to chase after her nowadays. It's hard being in your early thirties. The aches and pains start kicking in. Haha.

Walking The Dog

Everytime I walk Charlie, I am always surprised by the number of people who don't pick up after their dogs.

Really, folks? It's not that difficult to pick up after your dog. I do it all the time. It's part of being a responsible dog owner. I think it's also because I don't want bad doggie poo karma. I believe that if you don't pick up after your dog, and someone else steps in the mess, then you are more than likely to step in a few or more.

So PLEASE pick up after your doggie when he or she goes number two.

Charlie and her baby!

Charlie played with Darryl this afternoon. She was so tired afterwards, that she crashed in the Sharmas' backyard. Here's a sweet pic of her hanging out on one of the chairs. She has her baby with her. She loves that toy. It was the first one I bought her. Then again, she loves chewing on my socks and other things at home. Hooray for a wonderful doggie!

Hot Pink Panties

Hot Pink Panties. Every woman has a pair or two. It serves a different purpose for every woman.

Sometimes, it's the pair of undies that a woman resorts to when she puts off doing her laundry. It sits in the bottom of the underwear drawer until it is called to duty.

Sometimes, it serves as a chastity belt. I have a friend who wore a pair on a date once. Then things kinda got hot and heavy on the date, and her Hot Pink Panties kinda put on the brakes for her. Let's just say it went something like, "Whoa! Those are bright!"

Guys, cover your eyes. This might be too much info for you.

Sometimes, Hot Pink Panties are reserved for that special occasion when Aunt Flow visits every month.

Sometimes it's the random piece of underwear that comes in a three pack. You don't want it, but to get the other two pieces that are cute, you have to buy it. Then it ends up sitting in the dark corner of your underwear drawer. Waiting...stalking...jumping out at you when you least expect it!

But I have to admit, I have a pair or two. And yes, I only bust them out on certain occassions.

Cheers to Hot Pink Panties!

Can Summer Be Over Already?

As a kid, there was nothing better than Summer vaction. I used to love summer time, mostly because it meant that school was over, and I could play baseball with my friends all day.

The older I get, however, the less tolerable I am of the heat. Don't get me wrong, it's just as hot in Chico as it is in Sacramento during the summer time. But I can't take the heat anymore.

I am looking forward to Fall. I like the weather in late September and early October, where it's still warm, but getting cooler.

I love it when the leaves change color and cover the ground. I like the transition into Winter. I like wearing jeans and hoodies. I like staying cozy. I'm looking forward to seeing my cat, The Sibbie, snuggle up to me when it starts getting cooler. I am looking forward to walking my doggie, Charlie, in the park, and watching her run through the piles of leaves.

It's almost as if I can't wait for this year to be over. I can't wait for the seasons to change. I am eager start everything over. The seasons will mark my survival.

Here's The Real Deal

I think it's funny when a person tries to censor what I'm writing simply because he doesn't have enough back bone to admit to himself that what he did was wrong. I bet you think this blog is about you. I can certainly assure you that it's not.

This blog is about ME. Part of it is dealing with the mess that you've created. I told the truth about what you did, Voltaire, and what happened. I can't even rely on you to tell people the truth as to why I called off the wedding. Even your friends are lying for you. Since you're not willing to be honest with others, then it is my responsibility to protect myself and make sure that people know the truth. Don't blame me for your mistakes. I wasn't the one who cheated and destroyed our relationship.

I know that you're trying to save whatever face you can, but I can assure you that it will not be at my expense. I don't understand why you're reading my blog anyways, but I'm flattered.
I think that recent events further prove your lack of character and integrity.

I'm not an angry person, but I am angry about this situation and what has happened. I am a very strong woman, and although the process of moving on has been slow, I am definitely moving on. I don't know what bothers you more. The fact that I could care less about you, or that I'm moving on?

As for my blog being "threatening," I am not a violent person at all. I believe that my reaction to your infidelity is natural for someone who found out that she was played, and made a fool out of. I don't think that you fully understand just how life changing these events have been. I don't think you understand what it's like to be betrayed by the person you love, and people you thought were your friends. I believe in the law of karma. If you do something good, it will come back to you ten fold. If you do something bad, it will come back to you ten fold. That's how it works. I am satisfied that karma will come back to you. This is something you wou will have to live with for the rest of your life. I didn't do anything but love you, so I have nothing to be ashamed of.

You want to talk about threatening? What about what your sister and your mother did to me? The only reason I didn't file a police report when they physically assaulted me, is because I saw how it was affecting you, and because I loved you. Your sister tried going after me at your graduation. Your problems with your family existed long before I came along. It's wrong of your friends to say that I caused a rift between you and your family. I was just an excuse for them to bring it to the surface.

So if you want to read my blog, go ahead. That way you can see what I'm doing to move on from you and this situation. I am fortunate to have good friends and family to support me. I have so many things to be thankful for. I am not wasting my time on you or her. I have better things to do with my time.

Hahaha...Are You for real?

Hahahaha. Tsk. Tsk. Just like a little kid who tattles.

The One

Have any of you ever wondered if that person you were meant to be with is an ex?

What if that person was someone you dated briefly, but didn't take seriously?

What if that person was "The One" and all you have now is a missed opportunity? We all have that one person that we'll always remember and compare our future significant others to.

I am constantly in life review mode, and then think of whether or not I already had that person I was meant to be with, and I let him go.

There is only one person I will think of with regret, and that is Kenneth Delavin. I regret not recognizing what I had with him. I was only twenty-years old when I met him, and he was twenty-seven. He was ready to settle down, and I was, well, tweny and immature.

I did love him, but I didn't know what being in love meant at the time. He was really good to me. He treated me with respect, kindness, and had everything that I am looking for in a man. He loved me, but I was scared of my feelings for him. I broke up with him for no good reason, just for the mere fact that I had very strong feelings for him, and I didn't know what to do with them. I can plead ignorance due to my age at the time. What did I know about love? I was young, selfish, and immature.

So Kenneth Delavin will always be the one person and relationship that I look back on. He was perhaps the only man in my life that treated me well. I will always think of what might have been with him, had we met now, at this point in my life. I guess I'll never know. In any case, I hope that he's happy and doing well.

What's the BEST way to get over a break-up?..

...get a doggie!


I brought Charlie home on Thursday, and mucho thanks to Ambo for driving home with a stinky dog in her car.

She is a very sweet dog and just plum adorable. She's an 8 week old chocolate lab. She loves to cuddle and take naps on your lap.

A BIG THANKS goes out to The Feliciano Family. She had an awesome playdate with Larrah and her doggie Jack. We took them swimming today, and they had a great time. It's really cute to see our doggies developing a friendship. Charlie didn't want to leave Larrah's house. We are looking forward to more dates with the Felicianos and Jack. A barkery is our next stop!

I am excited to add Charlie to my family. The cats seem to be adjusting well to her. She's my first dog in a very long time. Don't get me wrong, The Sibbie is still my first child. Charlie is her little sister. Haha.

All of my pets are wonderful. Unlike people, they are loyal and love you unconditionally. The next man in my life will need to appreciate all of my pets. He doesn't stand a chance if he doesn't like my dog and my cat.

WORD.

You can't have your cake and eat it too...

I think that I'm doing really well in terms of moving on from my break-up, given the circumstances. I feel really bad that so many people were hurt and involved by Voltaire's decisions. I think it's going to take folks some time to re-adjust, and I certainly am doing my best, even though it's only been about a month since everything happened.

Recently, however, what Voltaire has done keeps haunting me, just when I think I've got my life back on the right track. Don't get me wrong, as hurtful as they are, I'm still glad that these recent developments were brought to my attention. It distinguishes my real friends from those who are not. It's these type of situations that help a person figure out who really has her back, and those who are trying to make the situation better only for themselves.

I found out that he lied to me, again, after the fact. I'm really not surprised, but he lied to me about the last time he saw the whore. I also found out that some of my friends were involved. He was with her at our friend's apartment, just before he came to see me at the hotel to tell me about his affair. I had to find out from one of my good friends. At least my friend was honest with me. I was livid that Voltaire would lie to me even after the fact. He had nothing else to lose. Perhaps he was trying to save whatever face he could with me? Who knows. The guy is a liar and a coward. He didn't tell me that his whore went over there to comfort him. Holding his arm, and telling him to "Do what you have to do..." as if she was the girlfriend, and he was cheating on her with me. The bitch is dillusional.

Although I can't really give him credit for coming clean. I had to guess that he cheated on me and pull it out of him. He was skirting around the issue, and telling me his boys said that "our chemistry seemed off" (gee, guess why mother fucker) and "maybe we're not ready to get married." Really? Your boys think that? Why? What did they do when your sister and mother physically attacked me? Did they try to help? NO. They just stood there watching. Did they support your ass through your last years in undregrad and in medical school? NO. Were your boys there for you when your parents disowned you? Did they give you money, food, and a house to live in when your parents disowned you? Who was there for you giving you unconditional love? MY FAMILY AND I...we were there for you to give you everything that your family couldn't. GO AHEAD. TELL THEM YOU GOT BEAT UP BY A GIRL.

Here's the other thing. We share a lot of friends in common. You can't go eight years in a relationship without doing that. Most of them are people we've known since our days at UCD. I realized that some of the guys I considered my good friends, aren't so good after all. One of them is also friends with the whore that Voltaire slept with. So when he was there on the day everything went down, I knew he was only there to protect his friend, the whore, and his friend Voltaire. He made it very clear that he considers the whore to be his "best friend." Great choice of a best friend. You must lack morals, values, and character just like her.

The worst part of it is that friend of Voltaire's thinks that it is perfectly fine to introduce her to the rest of our friends from college, despite everything that's happened. God only knows what he's saying to malign me. But some of these guys think it's fine to be friends with me and her? Really? Because everyone else seems to think it's really fucked up. You can't have it both ways. You can't be friends with me and expect me to think you're friendship with the whore is acceptable. You can keep telling yourself that you're not absolving her of any wrong-doing, and you're not condoning Voltaire and the whore of what they've done. But by being friends with her, yeah, you are justifying what they did. Human beings make "mistakes," but she chose to keep making that "mistake" for a year and a half, knowing that he was in a relationship with me. She has an agenda, and she manipulated him into thinking that what they were doing was okay. You know how I know this? Because Voltaire is easily influenced and he can't think for himself. Geez. You should've seen him before I came along. But I still have bigger cohones than he does. Ha! Who do you think taught him to stand up for himself? ME. But I guess listening to you numbnuts is easier for him to do. He really is book smart though...but note that he got it all from reading a book. It doesn't come naturally.

All I can say is this: All of you who are going to be friends with Voltaire's whore, are going to share her karma and her curse because you are justifying what she did, and supporting her infatuation with him. If you keep introducing her to legitimize her existence and role in Voltaire's life, you will add more karma to yourselves. Do you really want to work that hard to cleanse yourselves? Think about it. I don't even have to do anything. The universe will take care of all of you and her.

Thank You Amber!

I just wanted to share a message that Amber wrote to me. I'm lucky to have her as my best friend! The people who need to read this the most are the people who think that Cynthia Antonio is "human" and friend worthy. Read on:

Big ups to you, Thea. ...ain't that some shit. New info just crops up when you least expect it, huh? I'm still in awe of his stupidity and all-around apathy for everyone involved.This last development is probably filed under the heading of "I'm not going to say anything, because I'm not ready to tell you the whole truth just yet". Like the rest of the bullshit he dribbled out when he came out about cheating on you "two times", he's left out some pretty important details in order to save any possible face he can.

That being said, if his instinct told him to let her know that he was going to "come clean" you AND to allow her to come over to comfort him (I don't believe that he didn't "realize" that she's the obvious Pandora's Box - he was an active participant and fed into that shit, for fuck's sake!), then you know right there that you are far too good for him. If he's seeking out comfort from the one person he was supposedly "done with" (the trash's trash), then he really does have his head shoved up his ass.

WHO DOES THIS?!

There's probably more to this whole mess than you know, or than you need to know. Pursuit (active or passive) of more information isn't going to offer you the closure you need - it's only going to continually rip open a healing wound. Regardless of how angry you are (and we all are), I know that you're breaking down inside. Don't put it off... let it do its thing - wash over you, cleanse you - so that you can move on and become a stronger, better person from this.Let me know if you need a helping hand - you know I'm happy to be by your side.-Ambo

What Dreams May Come

People who are close to me know that I have a gift. It runs in my family. My Mom has it, as did my maternal grandmother and my maternal great grandfather. Even some of my uncles have it. We can talk to people who have passed on, and sometimes we dream about events that will happen in our lives. Most of all, we like using our abilities to help others in need. Always for good, never for evil. Although, sometimes it's tempting to use it against people who have done me harm, but I believe in the law of karma. I don't impose my spiritual beliefs on anyone, because I understand that not everyone is capable of thinking outside the box. However, I do expect them to show me some respect, be openminded, and don't diss what you don't understand.

I like to interpret my dreams. I'm still learning to do so, along with everything else. Everything in our dreams are symbolic of our experiences in the past, present, or future. Sometimes we regress back into our past lives so that we can remember the lessons we learned in that lifetime, so that our souls can avoid making that same mistake. However, sometimes our souls forget those lessons, or we have unfinished karma with people from our past lives. Sometimes our dreams don't make sense until time has passed.

Which brings me to my recurring dream of my children with Voltaire. All of our good friends know about this dream. These dreams started around the third year of our relationship.

Although the locations are different, it always has me running with a baby in my arms, with Voltaire running behind me. The baby and I are covered in a white light, Voltaire is not. We are running away from something bad or evil. In the first dream, we were running through a forest, running over rocks in a river. In the last dream, I was climbing up on top of the Sphinx, carrying our second baby, with Voltaire running behind me.

Was I so blinded by my love for him that I neglected to see the true meaning of my dreams? I was so convinced that those two dreams were about our future children, that I didn't bother to interpret it. I just accepted it for what it was. How could I possibly dream of our children together, when we weren't meant to be?

A few nights ago, I was talking to my Mom about my dream. She helped me interpret it, and it made sense. The reason the babies and I were covered by a white light is because we were protected by our spiritual guides and Angels. They too will have my abilities. The danger, evil, or bad situation we were avoiding was Voltaire. We were running away from him.

Let me clarify that babies in my dreams are my future children...with someone else. My dreams were warnings, and I didn't take the time to listen to the message. The situation and person that was going to bring bad things to my life, is gone.

I am looking forward to what my guides have in store for me. I have to learn to trust my instincts, in order to avoid letting bad people come into my life.

I HATE VOLTAIRE SINIGAYAN

So I'm really trying to recover from everything that's happened recently, but it's just so damn hard...so I thought.

I found out today that Fuck Face had his whore with him, trying to comfort him, BEFORE he came to the hotel to tell me about his affair. Even worse, the COWARD had to have his boys (not my friends) around him because he didn't want me to beat him up anymore. HA.

I really wanted to end things peacefully with him, but with this latest development, it all comes down to one thing--all he does is lie to me because he is nothing but a COWARD...and Cynthia Antonio is a whore. Neither of them have a moral compass.

What's worse, a liar or a coward? When I spoke to him after everything happened, he told me that the last time he saw her was when he left L.A.

LIES, LIES, LIES.

So from this day on, I will not shed anymore tears over your stupid ass. You can rot in hell with your whore. You deserve each other. Karma will be your curse. I will not think of you ever again. You are scum. I HATE YOU VOLTAIRE SINIGAYAN.

Momma Said Knock You Out

*DISCLAIMER: If it bothers you that I vent about stupid people, then please don't read it.

I had a lot of fun this evening. I had dinner with Larrah and Melanie at Hot Italian. It's always nice when my friends from different circles get to know each other. Due to the Drunk Dialing incident about two weeks ago, I ordered a cocktail, but barely touched it. So everyone's voicemails should be safe tonight. Haha.

After Hot Italian, Melanie and I went to the movies. Unfortunately, I always have the rotten luck of sitting next to obnoxious people. We got there early, and were able to pick out good seats. Unfortunately, there were some teenagers who were talking very loudly a few seats away from us. We decided to move seats a few rows down, but were harassed by the teenage girl as we were moving. She said, "Ya that's right. Move on out of my corner hos."

We paused on the stairs, and for a second started staring towards her. The last thing you want to do when you're a punk-ass teenager is to piss off two grown women who box in their spare time. And no, I'm not talking about a balikbayan box that you bring home to the Philippines. I'm talking about real boxing, as in I will shut yo' mouth with my left hook, and knock some sense into you with my jab.

Seriously, I've been disrespected enough these past few weeks. I might just take it out on your stupid punk-ass.