Still I Rise

**Sorry guys and gals. It took me a while to update and finish this entry. Been a little busy basking in happiness**

I believe in divine timing and that we really do receive what we ask for.  Although I've been able to move on from what Voltaire and Cynthia did to me, I was still harboring some anger because I never got to confront Cynthia and hold her accountable for her part in the demise of my relationship with Douchebag.  I was getting frustrated because I felt that it was really starting to affect my wonderful relationship with Paul.  I guess you could say Fate intervened, and presented me with an opportunity to make everything peaceful in my life.

This past Saturday, I decided to swing by Arkipelago to pick up an Ambeth Ocampo book.  On the way to the city, I thought about how much I wish I could just run into Cynthia so that I can get all my anger out. Talk about divine timing.  Cynthia was there volunteering with Mabuhay Health Center--a bunch of ignorant, arrogant, elitist, and problematic wanna be doctors and future health professionals who have offended many of our community organizations with their attitudes and approach; not to mention they're just using our community for self-promotion and self-gratification because they think they're saving our community.  She thought she could come into my community and be completely under the radar. Little did she know, that all my folks in the community were aware of who she was and what her role was in my break-up with Douchebag. Yes, they were completely aware she was the whore that chased after my ex-fiancee and helped him cheat on me.  It's pretty clear that she has no values or morals, a direct reflection of how she was raised.  She has no social competence whatsoever.

Anyhoo, she couldn't look at me the entire time. I was respectful and waited until all their patients were gone, and until their post clinic meeting was done.  She tried to walk right past me. I could've hit her, but I didn't. It took so much self-control not to do that, but I'm proud of myself.  Seriously though, this girl has a face, a voice, and a lisp that only HER parents could love.  She really sounds like she was breastfed on helium. The best part is that Tita Maggie and Tita Tina were also there to provide me with support.  They were also able to let the anger out.  They let her know that she hurt an entire community of people.  I don't really care if any of what we said to her affected her or even got through to her tiny brain.  Mission accomplished. We dealt with an issue that had hurt and angered so many people.  I had dealt with the douchebag Voltaire, so dealing with her was a way not only for me to finish healing, but for our community to start healing. 

Here's the thing. Voltaire and Cynthia are still together, and I could really care less because she got a coward, a liar, and a cheater.  Douchebag is your problem now, honey.  I got Paul and a wonderful, loving relationship.  It must suck to be Voltaire and Cynthia. You can only pretend to live your lives as if you didn't hurt so many people or do anything wrong, for so long.  The truth always comes out, especially when it comes to people like you. Do you celebrate your anniversaries on the first day that you cheated on me, or the day that I kicked Voltaire's sorry ass to the curb? It's a small world. There will always be someone around you to remind you of what you've done.

As for you, Cynthia, to say that you made a "mistake," that would actually mean that you know the difference between right and wrong. If you do believe in God (which I'm pretty sure you do because hypocrites like you and Douchebag go to church to make amends for your stupidity) you should know that he gave us all free will.  Free will allows us to make decisions that affect our lives, while taking into consideration how it will affect those of others. There are both good and bad consequences for those decisions. What you did was intentional, because you knew that helping Voltaire cheat on me was wrong, yet you did it anyways because you're selfish and insecure. Don't be too proud of your boyfriend, Cynthia.  He's a good liar, so don't be surprised if he cheats on you. He's so dysfunctional, that it's just a matter of time. You should know first hand how good of a liar he is because you witnessed it first hand.  You helped him. Good luck with that. You're only kidding yourself if you think he can't do better than you.  Have you seen what you look like? Or better yet, have you ever listened to yourself talk? Neither is pretty. It must suck to have a name you can't even pronounce. You and D-bag should do the world and the entire human race a favor and DO NOT EVER have children.  There are enough bad people on this earth.

With that being said, I hope you truly are ready for whatever KARMA comes your way.  FATE already dealt her cards.  KARMA is on her way, and she is pissed. Be careful what you ask for. Your consequences are on their way.

Everything is right in the universe once again. Toodles.

Random Ramblings

:::Today is Veteran's Day. Respect, love, and gratitude to our Beteranos. I still believe in FULL EQUITY for our manongs and manangs. The $15k that the government is trying to give them does not make-up for the injustices and indignity that they've suffered all these years. Nothing but FULL EQUITY for Filipino WWII Veterans!

:::I love this time of year! The leaves are turning red and orange, and I looooove the cold weather. Good thing I have a big, strong, and devastatingly handsome man to cuddle up with. If only we had a couch...hehe.

If not, we could always hit the mitts to keep warm. I'm so glad that I have a manly man. Someone who is a real fighter. Haha. I'm just saying, the fact that Paul is a fighter is so attractive to me. I can appreciate that quality about Paul, because my ex couldn't throw a punch even if his life depended on it. He was better at running away. Obviously. What a wuss. Hehe.

One of the many reasons I love Paul.

:::I'll be spending Christmas with Paul this year. We're driving down to SoCal with Notorious D.O.G. in tow. I like visiting SoCal with Paul, just because his family and friends have been nothing but wonderful towards me.

Such a huge difference from Voltaire's dysfunctional and miserable family. I REALLY dodged a bullet there, thanks to Cynthia "Chin" Antonio's whore-ish behavior and lack of morals. The only thing Voltaire's family ever gave me was a three inch gash across my cheek when his sister and mom physically assaulted me. Divine intervention works in mysterious ways, and I'm glad that however hurtful the turn of events were, that they happened the way they did. It made me stronger and made my skin a little bit thicker. More importantly, it got rid of all the negative and toxic people in my life.

:::My family used to get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, but ever since my Mama Osang passed away two years ago, it just hasn't been the same. The holidays always remind me of her. I miss going to my Auntie Susan's house for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I miss pulling up to the house, and being greeted by that familiar light in the kitchen. It was always the most noticeable feature of the house. It would greet you as you pulled up to the driveway on that cozy culdesac on Ceres Circle, as if to say, "It's been a while since you've been home. Welcome back."

As we walked through the front door, we were almost always greeted by my Mom or Tita Baby, and you could hear Auntie Susan bustling around in the kitchen. I'm one of those people who's really sensitive to smells (and I'm also vegetarian), so although I didn't quite enjoy the smell of turkey and how it stuck to my clothing, it was still one of the smells I associated with home.

I miss walking down the hallway to my Mama Osang's room, where she would have CNN blasting on her T.V. I miss making mano (a Filipino custom of showing respect to your elders by taking their right hand, and touching the top part of it to your forehead)and smelling the scent of Ivory soap on her hand. I really miss my lola.

My last Thanksgiving with my Mama Osang (she's the one wearing pink), pictured here with my Inay Toneng.

:::I am doing well so far, mid-semester. I just need to survive until finals. This is why I'm a Starbucks Gold Card Member.

Aye, Aye Captain! Full Speed Ahead!

That's pretty much how I feel my life is going right now. Seriously, where did the year go?

As another year comes to an end, I have to say that it's been nothing but good times for me this year. I've learned a lot about myself, mostly thanks to all the wonderful folks in my life, especially Paul. It's interesting to see myself from another person's perspective, especially Paul's. It's amazing what honesty can do for a relationship. If anything, I've learned how to deal with my strong personality because of HIS strong personality.

I'm thankful to have a job that I love and with three little girls who love me. I still can't believe how much Ava has grown! She is my little sidekick and Starbucks buddy. You should see this girl order at Starbucks. I've trained her well.

My relationship with Paul is progressing well. I love that I get to spend time with him almost every weekend, and that we truly enjoy each other's company. I like the foundation we're creating for our relationship. It's based on love, mutual respect, compromise, honesty, and integrity. Oh, we can't forget the most important components of our foundation: unbelievable athletic ability and we're gosh darn funnier than H-E-double hockey sticks. Seriously, no lack of self-esteem or confidence in this relationship.

We did Warrior Dash with my crazy delicious friends from boxing, as well as Art and his brother Allidrus last weekend. We decided that Paul is now in charge of our departure time for anything, and making sure I don't find ways to distract myself. I made sure to eat the breakfast of champions by having some cookies and a slice of pizza. What can I say? My imaginary hyperthyroid worm wants what it wants.

We went for a hike in Pacifica the day after Warrior Dash. As if a few bruises and sore muscles were going to stop us from enjoying a nice, warm sunny day in the Bay. Made me wish I had Notorious D.O.G. with us to enjoy the beach with the other doggies.

I'm looking forward to the upcoming year. I will be applying to an M.A. program for next Fall. I'm excited. It's been a long time coming, but as my Mom says, everything happens on its own time.

I need to get more serious about my training again though. I will have some 5ks and 10ks coming up, but I've been lagging on my running. I'm also going to start playing indoor soccer, so this should be an interesting transition from outdoor soccer.

So nothing but good things to come, and I wish the very same for all my family, friends, and animals. Hah.