I suppose that when one is in love, we develop our own concept of time. It has been about two and a half weeks since I've last seen Paul, but it seems like it's been twice as long. What can I say? I miss him. I miss him A LOT.
We both agreed that we would only do the long distance aspect of our relationship for about a year, because we want our relationship to progress. The only way to do that is if one of us moves to be closer to the other.
It's exciting to think of the prospect of moving to a different place, but I also feel torn about it because of everyone and everything that I'll be leaving behind. I am, no doubt, willing to move for Paul because I love him. It's one of the risks I'm willing to take. Change is good, but it's scary at the same time.
I'm not going to lie, I was traumatized by what Voltaire did to me. I recovered from it, and I certainly got over him and what he did. What stemmed from that experience is that I was able to find myself again, with the love and support of so many people and positive experiences. For example, my community in SoMa welcomed me back with so much love and respect. There was no tsismis about me or what happened, just a lot of love. Another example, I don't think that my soccer team knows just how important they were in my recovery process. I made new friends, and I rediscovered just how much I loved playing soccer. It got me out of my funk. Ya dig?
I guess you can say that I'm scared to move, because I don't want to lose my support system, more importantly, lose myself. But when I think of my life without Paul, my heart breaks a little, and I get this gut wrenching feeling. Life is so much better with Paul Poompan in it. Heehee.
I'm anxiously awaiting where Paul will get a job. That will determine the next step in our relationship. I'm still trying to get up the nerve to move, but I'm sure I won't even think twice about it, when the time comes.
I LOVE YOU PAUL POOMPAN.
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