Why He's a Keeper...

I received a wonderful surprise in the mail today. It came via Express Mail, and had all the bright flourescent stickers to imply that it was urgent. The stickers were just yelling, "Open me already! Open! Open! Open!"

I wasn't expecting anything from Paul, considering I was going to see him soon enough this weekend. But in all honesty, I ripped that envelope open like nobody's business and found a Christmas card inside.

It truly made my day. It made me smile and blush at the same time. It gave me warm and fuzzies. He wrote me the sweetest message I have ever received from a man. It was genuine, sincere, and heartfelt. It was most def an "AWWWWWWWW" moment.

He spent about twenty bones on the postage, just to make sure I would get his card in time for Christmas. It was just such a sweet gesture on his part.

Paul, thank you for making me feel like a V.I.Pinay. Love ya lots.

I am a Fojas Womyn

Ever since I was a little girl, all my strength in character and stubborness were always summed up in one phrase, "Siyempre! You're a Fojas girl kasi!" ("Of course! It's because you're a Fojas girl!")

As I got older, the phrase simply evolved into "Siyempre! You're a Fojas womyn!" All of my Ates, or older female cousins and I, grew up with this phrase and the concept that accompanies it.

As I previously mentioned in a post earlier this year, we do have a tradition of having strong womyn on the Fojas side of the family. We are indeed a matriarchal family.

So what are the characteristics of a Fojas womyn? For starters, our brothers, as well as the men we are married to and our significant others, will surely attest to our stubborness and strong will. We don't back down easy, especially when we are faced with adversity. We are confident and intelligent. We are loyal, almost to a fault. Altruism and compassion are also some of our best characteristics. And honey, do we have attitude. We are all outspoken and make no apologies for who we are. We can't forget about that. I think this also why the men in our family marry strong womyn.

Most importantly, we are known for our perseverance and overcoming obstacles in our lives. We are all survivors in our own right.

I believe that these characteristics are indeed inherent in the womyn in our family, but it also has a lot to do with being raised with talk stories of my great grandmothers and grandmothers. These phenomenal and extraordinary Fojas womyn continue to live on as long as we keep talking about them and telling their stories.

There is another virtue that all the Fojas womyn possess that bind us together through the generations. It is the reason why so many of us are able to overcome so many challenges in our lives. It is what gives us the courage to move past and move on. It is the light that guides us and helps us make sense out of the irrational. Do you really need to ask what it is? It's LOVE.

Whether it is love for family, love for a husband or significant other, or love for kapwa-tao or community. All our actions and strength are divinely guided and rooted in the concept of love. We've had our share of broken hearts in one form or another, but it is still love that gets us through these situations. Think of it as a form of claircognizance that exists between generations of Fojas womyn. It's about remembering who you are and where you come from.

I hope that one day, I'll be able to pass on their stories and say these very same words to my own daughter(s): "Of course, anak. It's because you're a Fojas womyn."

Frack My Sweet Tooth!

Frackin' cow man! This sweet tooth of mine is going to make me run and then some.

I love you, but I hate you frackin' confections of sugary goodness.

Cake I can handle. I've been known to survive several cake comas. Hell, I can eat cake for breakfast.

Cookies are my frenemy. Cookies and I don't get along. It's impossible to eat just one. They sit there in the jar or tupperware, staring at you, calling your name. Just taunting you to livin' la vida loca...and end up gordita.

At least with cake, my relationship is always short lived with every slice. Once I eat the slice, I'm done with it. I can go at least two weeks before craving another piece of cake.

Ugh. I love you, but I hate you cookies. So to make myself feel better about eating you, I will be giving you as gifts to friends and family for the holiday season so they can enjoy indulging their inner fat kids with me.

Two-Year Olds Are Awesome

I had the pleasure of babysitting the girls last night. Ava gave me a big hug and lots of kisses as soon as I got there. I love that she loves me.

Ava loves her ladybugs almost as much as Maya Papaya does. During dinner, Priya mentioned that Ava thinks she's a boy because the ladybug in the movie "A Bug's Life" is, well, a boy.

To demonstrate, Priya asked, "Ava, are you a girl or a boy?" With a mouthful of roti, Ava said in a very deep voice, "A BOY!" She also proceeded to put her feet up on the counter as she ate.

I just about choked on my coffee. Haha. There is never a dull moment with these girls. It's times like these when I do miss being their nanny, because for the past three years, I've watched them grow up. At least I can take comfort in the fact that I'll always be a part of their lives.

Between Optimus and Theory...and Being Pinay

You know how I love you dearly.
You and I have been sisters through thick and thin during this lifelong friendship of ours.

We lost touch for but a moment, but never lost a beat.
You were there for me during all the times when I got my heart broken, to be the strength and the sister that I needed.

Although it hurts to see you in so much pain, I'm still glad that you're going through this.
Let me explain. It's not because I don't care about you. On the contrary. I will be there for you every step of the way.
It's the beginning of your healing process and your life in review. You've put it off long enough. No more moving. You're staying put. I'll make sure of that.
It's the only way that you're going to find your way back to her. To rediscover that essence of your being.
In Theory, the essence of your being a strong, proud, phenomenal Pinay.

In Theory, being Pinay meant strong words expressed through various pieces of poetry
and countless cups of coffee over conversations in college
about how we didn't understand weak women who let men or relationships disempower or define them.
Now, I never could spit poetry like you, but pucha mare! I always lived vicariously through your words.
Whatever you couldn't say to people upfront, you always did through the open mics. I always admired your ability to move people through your spoken words and raw courage to just stand up there and flow. I remember thinking grabe talaga! Astig ng mare ko!

In Theory, we were never the kind to ever let our feelings show because we thought that being strong Pinays meant never showing that we were losing any sense of self-control.

In Theory, somewhere along our journey as sisters, you and I became a shadow of our Pinay-selves, weakened for a moment, but not broken by our experiences.

And when I was picking up the pieces, you were one of the few who stayed with me, to make sure to carefully sort through them,
and in Theory, choose only the important elements of being Pinay. Of being me.

You say that you still trust so easily. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't you see? The fact that you are able to trust means that you have no fear, and that you're willing to take chances. Trust is necessary to lead you down that path of self-awakening and rediscovery. Trust is necessary to let love find you when the time is right. But you have to learn how to trust yourself first.

You are me and I am you in so many ways. I once asked you what you thought were my most important characteristics as your sister and your friend. I expressed that I was having a hard time coming up with a third characteristic that defined both a weakness and a strength that I possessed. I came up with "love" and "being a woman." You said without hesitation, "loyalty."

In Theory, I see all these same characterstics in you. This you and me being Pinay.

I love ya chica.

Love and Honesty

So I guess it's pretty obvious that love is in the air for me. I don't want to reveal too much just yet, because we're enjoying every moment of it by keeping it to ourselves for now. Only a select few know some details.

That's right. I said LOVE. You know, the ever so elusive aspect of a lot of people's lives, which included mine, until recently.

Some of my critics will probably say that it's too soon for me, or that I haven't given myself enough time. It's understandable, considering how many people were hurt and angered by what Voltaire did. However, I don't really know how one is suppossed to determine how much time is appropriate to "get over" an experience like that. It's been six months, and I can honestly say that I have completely moved on from that situation. I am in a completely wonderful and peaceful place in my life. As I previously stated, I've accomplished so much in such a short period of time. More importantly, I didn't become jaded or bitter by what he did. It made me stronger as a person. If anything, it made my belief in love even stronger. This time I took a different approach. I didn't go looking for love. I let fate and destiny take over.

Love really does find you when you least expect it, in the most creative of ways. I can say that how I feel for this new love is completely different from anything I've ever experienced before. There's an energy that draws us together, something that I can only describe as old and familiar, almost as if it transcends the limitations of time and understanding. It is only for us to define, and no one else.

The best part about this newfound love, is that we are completely straightforward and honest with each other. Honesty truly is the hallmark of integrity. It's refreshing to know that there are REAL MEN out there who can communicate their thoughts and emotions without hesitation and reservations.

Perhaps I've said enough for now. I just couldn't help myself. He's been so wonderful to me, and I wanted to share some of my happiness with the rest of you.

Peace comes from knowing that only love is real.

Blah.

That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I'm sick, bored, and can't do much. I hate taking meds because of the way it makes me feel disconnected, but I'm a total wuss when it comes to being sick. Hella kawawa. Haha. To make things worse, I'm really hungry, but I can't taste anything. I'm craving cake tho'. Damn sweet tooth never fails.

At least I have something else really sweet to look forward to everyday. He makes everything better.