Purgation of My Closet

So I finally did it. It's been a long time coming, but I've put off doing anything about it for a very long time. It just seemed like such a daunting task. If anything, I should've done it right after my "Debut at 32" last year. I think that because of the fact that Douchebag Howser M.D. left so many of his clothes behind (that I was gracious enough to return to him under the circumstances), I guess I was trying to avoid finding anymore of his crap. So after four loads of laundry, cleaning the bathroom, a trip to Starbucks and Safeway, and taking Notorious D.O.G. for a walk, I finally did it.

I can thank the less than pleasant weather for keeping me at home for most of today and in the mood to do some cleaning. I moved the wardrobe into the office and put another set of drawers in its place. I feel really selfish for always complaining that I never have anything to wear, considering that I have more than enough clothes to last me another decade.

I rediscovered my love for my pretty dresses. Yes, I realize that I dress like a tomboy most of the time in my hoodies and sweatpants, but oh do I love my dresses! I also found out that I have 45 pairs of soccer shorts. The good news is that I didn't find anymore of D-Bag's things, with the exception of some of his mismatched socks. I guess you could say his socks are symbolic of his hot ass mess of a life. That monster and all his crap are finally all out.

I will be getting a new bed this year. Moms got me new pillows. So many more changes to come. The purgation of his memory from any of my possessions is coming to a close. I feel even more liberated. Dont' get me wrong. I've moved on from that phase in my life and I have recovered well.

It has been a long process indeed. I am fortunate to have a REAL and a wonderful man like Paul. You can recover, and possibly even forgive, but I think that the feeling of betrayal will always stay with me. I'm just lucky enough that Paul is patient and understanding enough to help me heal those wounds, by giving me so much love.

I know, not much of an exciting post, really, but I just thought I would share. I will borrow this quote that my friend Silda posted on her Facebook today. I think it's a perfect way to summarize my experience today:

‎"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come." - Joseph Campbell